You are currently browsing the The Animal Farm Blog weblog archives for September, 2008.
28/09/2008 by ville.
Red carpets, lies and videotape

, the umbrella organization for independent labels of which we are members, hosted a meet and greet last week. AIM host many kinds of music biz events and seminars. I always tag along. It’s good to talk. Good to meet people. I do believe it’s called social networking. Only, they have a great innovative way of doing it non-digitally, in person.
This particular event was at Storm. Nice club in the heart of the city. Next door there’s a movie theatre. They had the opening of some movie going on. Red carpets and all. Didn’t recognise any of the celebs on display. I simply must
reacquaint myself with Heat magazine. Some nice breast and leg combinations were on display, making the view most enjoyable.
Eventually the cops let me thru the cordon and we wuz in biz.
The subject matter for the evening was media relations. Sure enough, representatives of the fourth estate were there, eagerly waiting to be introduced to music business entrepreneurs, all of whom had stacks of CDs of the very best calibre to give away. My CDs were just ordinary ones from
I took part in this speed dating thing where a few chosen labels got to meet a few chosen media reps for a 5 minute face to
face conversation during which we were to tell each other about ourselves, exchange contact details and so on. It was pretty nice, actually. I’d never been on a speed dating thing before. I’d done a blind date once, which didn’t end up too badly, but that’s another story on another channel…
I’ve come to the conclusion that giving away CDs is not the best use of one’s time and it is certainly not the best use of the earth’s dwindling natural resources. 
I’m reading a cool (so cool it’s chilling) book about this, actually.
I hate it when I come home from these kind of affairs with a bag full of records. I’ve no idea whatwhywherewho they are and I probably don’t care to find out. There will have been a couple of intresting conversations about interesting projects. I’ll remember those. And I’ll get on the case when I get home.
The trick, I guess, is to be interesting. So, I mainly try to steer the conversation to classic Van Halen as fast as I can.
I don’t know about you, but if I wanted to make an impression on somebody, I wouldn’t say that our artist is going to be bigger than Elvis
and better than The Beatles. I wouldn’t say that s/he will be a big world wide artist by Xmas. Or in the very least by January. Some lady actually made the prediction of their artist being a world wide smash by Xmas. On closer examination, I learned that there was no record made yet, no deal in place and so on. Man alive, I’ve been involved in some fast moving projects, but that just tops them all… what did they have for breakfast? Gimme some!!! What did the fellow on the right have for breakfast?
I also heard of a songwriter of whose songs 7 out 10 are hits. That’s quite some strike rate. Not even Diane Warren manages that. And she is probably the most successful songwriter of all time. Hyperbole is not a great sales technique. It just makes you look stupid.
Apart from those minor incidents, the evening was very nice and fruitful. It was great to meet the folks from
and to be able to start the conversation by thanking them for putting Smudge on the playlist. That was cool. And speaking to the
guys under very similar circumstances made me feel like we’re doing exciting things with exciting artists - who will all be massive by Xmas. Maybe not this Xmas, but some future Xmas, possibly.
Meanwhile back in the jungle…
We’ve spent a bit of qualty time at The ‘Farm with the band Midas, a bunch of Brummies whose tracks are sounding great. Similarly, we hosted Autohype from Leicester. Again, a promising young band of whom you will no doubt hear before Xmases to come.
Our distributor gave us a nice surprise by telling us that Esteban’s records are selling well in the USA.
That is indeed nice, considering that they’ve never played there. The weird and wonderful digitally connected world of the 21st century!!
Practise makes perfect!
I had an epiphany the other day. It was about practising. Let me back track a little. This band we worked with for a good three years had a rhythm section who in all that time didn’t get any better. How lame is that? How is it even possible? What was their daily routine like? What was the thought process involved? “We want to make a living by being in a band. We know the competition is tough. Uhh… dude, wanna go out for a
?” These were the questions Mat and I pondered late of an evening in the studio.
Having an Eureka moment by way of acquring an enjoyable hobby
One day, about two years ago, it occurred to me that I needed a hobby. I sit in the studio all day making music, talking
about making music. I go home and do it all over. I needed something to take my mind off these things, provide a release valve. Something that would involve sweating, so I wouldn’t get fat.
I had been playing occasional squash over the past umpteen years. By occasional, I mean that I never had lessons, never took it seriously, there were years when I wouldn’t play at all. Playing was never about technique, tactics or a purpose other than enjojying the run around.
Nevertheless, I always liked doing it, so I thought I’d give squash a try. Luckily, there is a squash club right near where I live. The mighty Blackheath Squash Rackets Club, established in 1928. I joined up with a mate, thinking we’d go in twice a week and maybe play some others at the club, if we got the chance. But then a strange thing happened: I really got into it.
I went to our resident coach Tom and told him that I wanted to learn how to play squash properly. He took me through some of the basics and suggested guys at the club to play against.
Suddenly I was on court 5-6 times a week. Taking lessons, getting slaughtered by guys way better than me, going past some as I progressed through the rankings. I even started reading up on squash, watching videos, going to watch tournaments, going to the club by myself to work on my stroke. Now, if you’ve ever witnessed anything more boring than someone practising squash… but I tell you, I love it.
After a year of being quite bad, I got good enough for the guys who ran the teams to notice me and invite me to play for them. Understand: this is low league stuff, but it’s still a league with away games, rules and regulations, teams getting promoted and relegated. So, I travel to places to get slaughtered by strangers, sometimes slaughtering them. It’s good fun for all concerned.
All this playing and practising has had side-effects. My mate with whom I joined our club two years ago can’t really give me a game anymore. I’ve got so much better than him. On my hols two summers ago I played a guy in Helsinki who’d played for Finland as a junior, who’d played proper league squash. He works for Universal, so there was a connection there. He beat me 9-0, 9-0, 9-0. Last summer I played him again. This time I beat him.
Back to the epiphany about practising: if a guy like me can progress within a year from being a no good squash novice to being a club team player, anyone who’s, say, 18 years old and wanting to be in a band can do much more. I’ve got a business to run, a family to raise and a music career to pursue. Squash is side bar, a hobby. There are only so many hours in a week I can devote to squash.
But if you’re 18 and in a band…. what the hell is your excuse for not spending several hours EVERY DAY on your chosen thing, that of being in a band, playing and writing, promoting and gigging.
I swear, if you spent an hour every day on your craft, you’d see a dramatic improvement by Xmas. I mean this Xmas coming. If you did 4 hours every day, you’d be amazing very, very soon. In a world where nothing short of amazing gets people’s attention, do you agree that whatever you need to do to become AMAZING, it is probably in your very best interest to start doing it right now.
Posted in News At Zen | 1 Comment »
20/09/2008 by ville.
The other night I met up with a band who had come to London from the other side of the world in search of fame and fortune in the music business. I can completely relate to that. We are pirates. Desperate men in search of desperate fortunes.
The crazy thing is that these guys told me they had read this blog. And that it had made an impact on them. That makes me feel really good. Back in my band days, I remember getting emails from fans who wrote nice things about our music. Some of it was “hey, man, love your stuff” type of praise and it was equally gratefully received. But the most memorable ones were really touching stories about how the music had affected their personal lives, helped solve problems and got them through bad times. Reading those was very inspiring. Humbling.
So, I was just chuffed to bits to find out that someone out there enjoys these ramblings.
Moving swiftly along.
My brother Mat used to play tennis as a kid. He was good. He subscribed to Tennis Player magazine. The rag had articles about the art of playing tennis buried between adverts about booze and cars and Rolexes. The articles included tips from pro players. I remember one that made us laugh. Arthur Ashe - a former Wimbledon champ - stressed the importance of concentrating on the ball.
Of course, we twisted it to “concentrate on your balls”. Uh huh huh… check it out Beavis…
Concentrating on the ball has to be taken very literally. It means that you must concentrate on the most important thing that’s happening at the moment. If you get the ball back, the rally continues. If you start thinking about the awards ceremony, you scuff the shot, lose the point and may never reach even the quarter finals.
John McEnroe wrote in his memoirs that he would concentrate on the ball so hard that he could actually read the logo on it as it was being whacked back at him at high velocities.
The same applies to the music business. Concentrate on things that are important right now. Ones that are under your control. Don’t worry about getting bigger gigs supporting bigger bands. It’s out of your sphere of influence. Nothing you can do about it. Nothing a manager can do about it, in most cases. What you can do is make sure that your band promotes your gigs and that your gigs are great. That when anyone sees you they see something fantastic. Don’t you worry ’bout a thing - sooner or later word will get around. And then you’ll get asked to do the cool support slots.
Don’t worry about what all the other bands are doing. It doesn’t matter that they’re crap and you’re great - and why is it that all the crap bands get somewhere while you don’t? What they do is out of your control. But you can control writing better songs and making better recordings. And if you keep concentrating on the proverbial ball, you will keep the rally going and eventually something will give in your favour.
A mate of mine is an architect, a property developer. He introduced me the concept of the COST - TIME - QUALITY triangle. 
Apparently it’s an age old concept, but new to me. You learn something new every day. It applies to making records, being in a band - all the things we in the music business are doing.
In this day and age when very few people out there seem to buy into the myth of how the rock’n'roll biz supposedly works, it is staggering to come up against the levels of ignorance that, sadly, we come up against when speaking with bands. Not all, but some.
Equally, when we discuss the realities of the business they seek to enter, it’s great when you see the penny drop. When someone gets it. Even better when someone not only gets it but decides to do something about it.
Lou Pearlman, the disgraced manager of Backstreet Boys and N’Sync (disgraced because of financial fraud for which, I believe, he is currently serving a prison sentence), spoke at an industry conference about the “product” that is a band. He said it’s A+ songs, A+ recordings of those songs, A+ live show, A+ image and A+ story to tell. If you have all those you will find success. If one element is not A+ you will fail. 
So the cynic in me says, we deal with real artists, not fucking boy bands.
In truth, it’s the same for everyone. If it ain’t brilliant in every way, why do you think the great people of our nation would be bothered to spend their hard earned cash on it?
Click on the photo below to view a wonderful YouTube clip of David Lee Roth talking about this stuff.
Incidentally, the song the meathead interviewer refers to is California Girls, a song most definitely not made by Mr Roth. Instead, it was made by Brian Wilson. Granted, Mr Roth’s version was popular in the 80s, around the time when meathead and yours truly were into that sort of thing.
Still, give credit where credit is due. Brian Wilson made that song.
And for those who don’t know who David Lee Roth or Brian Wilson are, they are people who made music for which millions of people have spent millions of dollars, euros, yen, rand… you name it.
I digress. This free trade Argentinian shiraz is really kicking in…
Two things rocking my world right now are: the song Pleasureseeker by The Brent Flood. The other one is a young songwriter who just sent us a demo with the most wonderful lyrics I have heard for a long long time. It feels great to be working with (and possibly working with) that level of talent.
Yes, this wine is definitely kicking in now….
V.
Posted in News At Zen | 1 Comment »
15/09/2008 by ville.
Next in the series of song titles about exotic locations, we are proud to plug this record by Tiny Spark.
Tiny Spark are lovely band from London via Portsmouth with whom we have had the pleasure to work.
I’m liking the vibes here and I hope that you will, too.
The song is about a guy who heads off to Alaska to find himself, leaving his love behind. If that happened in this day and age, the guy would probably end up impregnating one of Sarah Palin’s daughters and drilling the entire state dry of oil. Drill, baby drill - as they chant over there in the US of A.
Have mercy on us all….
Posted in News At Zen | 1 Comment »
01/09/2008 by ville.
I love this record. Esteban perform it. We produced it. You should buy it.
V.
Posted in News At Zen | 1 Comment »